New Outlook on Life

             
I'm not really sure when it really started, but I want to say it was a 2 years ago when I realized that I need to do something for me! I was feeling burnt out, I hated how I looked and felt and it unfortunately spilled over into my family life. I was snapping at my kids (yelling was more like it) to the point that whatever I was asking was falling on deaf ears. I didn't even want to spend time with my husband. 

Life became routine, I hated who I had become and I needed to change....

Quite a few things happened to me that sparked this change. I think the biggest was a very real and very scary medical scare. I didn't tell anyone what I was feeling but my family certainly was supportive. It all started with an extremely heavy period (I mean I was soaking through a pad every 30 minutes) that lasted for 45 days. I had a feeling something wasn't right, but really didn't know after the first week. I called and made an appointment with my Dr. and the tests started. 

I ended up having 2 ultrasounds, an MRI and the scariest one was the blood test for Cancer. The reason for having this last test was that during the ultrasounds it was discovered I had a very fast growing ovarian cyst and I was being tested for ovarian cancer.  Cancer ??? I prayed everyday this wasn't the case. I mean I was only 39 and fear was creeping every day that passed because my dad died of cancer at age 41. The blood test came back negative (thank goodness) and during the MRI this fast growing cyst was no where to be found. Some time in the 45 day time span the cyst burst and disappeared as quickly as it grew.

With my Science degree from University I was during my research through all this time. I started implementing what I was learning about how to try and prevent the growth of ovarian cysts. You cannot control what grows or how, but you can certainly live a healthy life to reduce the chances of re-occurrence.

Now begins my journey to a Healthier Lifestyle!

I joined Weight Watchers because I needed the jumpstart and accountability of a weightloss program. I figured it has worked for so many people, why not me? Well the program did work for a while I was down 8 lbs and then it started to creep up. I started searching the internet for a reason why this might be happening and found that the nonrestrictive program really wasn't "teaching" me anything and I needed something else for me. I never ate poorly, I just ate too much so I started cutting pack portion sizes.

I did the odd exercise at home but because there are so many distractions, it worked for a little bit. I kept getting these ads on my Facebook page for a gym in my neighborhood that started to get my interest. I thought to myself...

I tried the gym for a month (they had a special pay $40 for 1 month of unlimited access). What is cool about this gym is that it's not a "Big Box Gym" I feel like I have a personal trainer every time I go and I actually love working out! I think FitBody Bootcamp saved my life!

I have been doing these HIIT workouts 3x per week for a year and feel fantastic! I actually find myself craving the gym when I haven't been for longer than 3 days. I am stronger than I have been in the past 10 years, I have lost inches all over and I am starting to see myself as the strong woman that my parents raised me to be. 

Since I have started this journey I have lost 20 lbs, and have gone down 3 dress sizes!  I have 107 classes under my belt and there is no stopping me. By Increasing my fitness/exercise, I have decreased my stress level and I am actually loving who I am again.

Through my self discovery and working at a Healthier Life, I am teaching my family how to be healthy through example, and I am now calmer. I don't snap at my kids and we are doing more things as a family that I never would have done 3 years ago! 

More to Come...

A New Year a New Perspective on Life

There comes a time (I think in everyone's life) that you realize that you are not indestructible and that life is short. I have had this experience a few times now in my life (most people only have it once)

The first was when I was 12 years old and my dad died. I was still very young but still realized everything that was happening and could understand it to a point. I didn't realize it then (not until I had kids) that you can't take advantage of anything. Enjoy all the little things in life from seeing your kids first discovery of grass,  to that first lost tooth, just enjoying the cuddles in the middle of the day.

The second time was in 2014 when I saw a facebook post about a friend I knew since brownies that she was in hospital and had a cardiac arrest and the Dr.'s don't know why (She was only 36 years old). It's been a long time since I talked to her but my heart was breaking for her and her family. She has since pulled through and her inspirational posts have put me in absolute awe every time I read her beautiful words! I started worrying about my own family to the point that I am pretty sure I became slightly depressed (to be honest I think I was already from having the twins). My worry turned into hating myself for becoming who I was and eating to make me feel better but turned out that I hated myself even more.

The final time was a few weeks ago when we got a call from my husband's mother saying that his dad had a minor TIA. I realized ( although I knew all along) that your health is everything! I f you don't take care of yourself your loved ones around you ultimately suffer when you are gone and there is nothing you can do about it. With that said I am finally taking my life into my own hands! I have started working out 5 days a week and am tracking what I am eating! I didn't put this weight on over night and I don't expect it to come off over night!

So far after 2 weeks of a 4 week program I have lost a total of 6 lbs and 7.5 inches (all over but my happiest is 3 inches off the hips). It has been hard work and there are days when I really don't want to work out, but I keep repeating to myself that I want to grow old with my husband and I want to be there for all of my kids and family's moments from the smallest to the largest and most important. I don't want to be a burden to my family and I want to be there in every way possible!

I never keep New Years Resolutions so I am declaring that this is a New Perspective on Life! I know that this is going to be a long road but one that I am more than willing and ready to take

Pretty Fierce Week 2

I am proud of myself! I have completed week 2 of an 8 week program! Here is my review for this week.

Starting weight: 255.5 lb
This week weight: 253.0 lb

Day 8 - Cardio plyometrics +Core; This was very challenging as I had no sleep last night and I was determined to do this workout today. I tried to do every move as they were the same as day 1 but it really was an effort to keep the pace. I did complete the 30 minute workout, but I did not do as many reps as I should have done. Here's to a better day tomorrow!

Day 9 - Tabata;  This is the intense Cardio where you only have 7 exercises but you do them 7 times each as fast as you can in a 3 min interval. I actually did better than the first week in repetitions but I was a little slower.

Day 10 - Shredding; Missed - pulled a leg muscle because I didn't stretch enough from the day before. Just shows that you really do need to do the stretching!

Day 11 - Flex Schedule; Missed - still recovering from the pulled muscle

Day 12 - Loading + Core: This is a mix of high intensity Cardo and weights, so you are essentially loading everything in a 20 minute workout. It was still difficult to do the jumping with the weights (mainly because I still have weak kegals), but I did the exercises.

Day 13 - Cardio Plyometrics; I actually took my workout clothes and DVD to my mom's house because we were spending the day. Every other time I have done this with the intent to workout, I never did...but this time I got ready as soon as the boys went for their nap and did the 30 minute workout!

Day 14 - Yoga Hybrid; I have no excuses other than I really didn't feel like working out this day so I ended up missing this day. I felt bad when I was laying in bed that night so my goal for the next week is to do everyday.

Weight Loss journey Continues...

So Back in December I started a new weight loss program and it was working for about 2 weeks...then Christmas holidays occurred and then a bunch of sick time. I recommitted myself again in February and that only lasted 3 days and off the wagon I went!

Well I have done it again and this time I am committed! (Yes I know I have said that before, but this time is different). I was at K-Days in Edmonton, and went on a ride with my daughter...much to my dismay (although she loved the ride) my hips and bottom were spread so wide that I was practically sitting on her. I felt awful and decided that Monday morning I was going to change. I bought the food (not that it's any different than what we already eat), and got my workout clothes ready. 

I have lasted a week and here is my review of the past week (you are going to be sick of this weekly update by the end of 60 days - but this is how I am being committed to this program). Again I can't believe I am posting my measurements but I need to see it.

Start Weight: 255.5 lbs
Chest: 45.5"
Waist: 45"
Hips: 53.5"

Day 1: Cardio Plyometrics - I thought I was in a bit of shape chasing after kids all day, but this was challenging. All joking aside this was a mix of high and low cardio. It was intense but I was able to keep the pace and only missed a few moves.

Day 2: Tabata Cardio - I was feeling the workout from the day before but I managed to do this 26 min workout. For those that don't know Tabata is a workout that you do as many reps of a particular move in a short amount of time and you repeat that move 7 times. (Jabs, Run, Skaters, Football Run and Tuck Jumps). Wow by the time I got to the tuck jumps I was hurting!

Day 3: Shredding - Shredding is the right name for this workout...it was 30 minutes of high intensity cardio with weights included. This is designed to get your cardio up and work your specific muscle groups with weights. You use a mix of heavy and light weights, but by the end of the 30 minutes both sets of weights feel like they are 30 pounds!

Day 4: Flex Schedule - This is my choice of workout of either an Outdoor run (which I don't run very well for any kind of distance) or Tabata. To be perfectly honest, I skipped this day...not because I didn't want to do the workout (as much as I wan't really looking forward to it) but I had a cake that I had to decorate for a client and really didn't have time.

Day 5: Loading - This workout was very difficult, I feel every muscle and to be honest I had a really hard time keeping up with the timing of the exercises. There are 7 short sets that are high intensity mixing cardio and weights. Loading is the perfect name for this set as you really do load everything on during this exercise.

Day 6: Cardio Plyometrics - I didn't make it...I had a date night the and this next day we went shopping without kids. I did a lot of walking so I hope that counts for something.

Day 7:  Yoga Hybrid - I was really looking forward to this workout as I was thinking that I have a low to medium intensity workout. Well I was in for a surprise...this workout is yoga, but you use weights to add to the difficulty!

I am proud of myself that I managed to workout 5 of 7 days. When Lindsay Brin suggests at the beginning of the DVD series that you should have been working out for a month prior to starting this training she wasn't kidding. I was very tired and a little slower on some days but I was able to keep up and not as winded and out of shape as I thought. I guess running after 3 kids all day does count for something.

I keep repeating my workout mantra (especially when I am super tired and only had 5 hours sleep) "I am doing this for me and I can do this". Funny enough I have completed this week and I am actually looking forward to this coming week to see how I can do with these workouts. My goal is everyday! I don;t have any cakes due and nowhere to go so "NO EXCUSES"!

Sleeping twins

Since this is supposed to be a blog about my life with twins I figured I should actually write about them...I have been looking back on past posts and realized that I am mainly writing about me and my frustrations and not much about the everyday family life.

Well here it is...the average toddler of 2-3 years in age is to have 12 hours of sleep in an 24 hour period. I think whomever did this "study" either doesn't have kids, didn't study twins and really only did it in a controlled environment where the lights could be controlled and no windows or other noises were present. Either that or I just have abnormal twins!

Since the boys turned 2 almost a year ago we have been battling bedtime with jumping out of bed, climbing over into each other's cribs (they are now in toddler beds- only lasted a week), and just not sleeping until sometimes 11 at night. It's now worse that it's the summer and hot (they don't believe me that it's bed time as the sun is still out). What really gets me these days is that whenever someone else puts them to sleep (a grandparent) they are like angels...why not for me?

Today is Canada Day and we decided to actually do something this year. My husband and I took the kids swimming for the first time at a pool in hopes that it would tire them out...nap time was fantastic (the boys went right to sleep and I had to wake them up 2 hours later). In the afternoon we decided that the swimming tired them out so we would take the dog to the dog park for a nice long walk. We went out for dinner (they ate really well), bath, story and bed. Or so we thought

I am sitting here 3 hours after putting the kids to bed writing this as I have taken almost everything I could possibly think of out of their room in hopes that they will go to sleep (I have gone upstairs to put them to bed over a dozen times buy now). My daughter was never this bad...it took 3 months to transition her fro my crib to a bed with her jumping out and me putting her back...the boys now that is another story. I have talked to many people, referred to many sleep training sites and we have tried everything. The going in every 5 min to reassure them that I am still here, the stern voice telling them to go to sleep that play time is over for the day. I have even put them back into bed not saying a word...all I can say is that boys are totally different than girls and twins are totally different than single babies. I really do envy those people who say that their kids have slept through the night at 2 months...Congratulations! You are above the average sleep time for your kids.

Studies have said that kids do better at learning when they have a full night sleep....well if that's the case then I must have really dumb kids. I know I don't as my daughter started reading on her own in kindergarten, my boys can figure out most puzzles...but when you read these articles when you are at your wits end you feel like the world's worst mother! I know I am sleep deprived...I have been for almost 7 years as the sleep depervation begins when you are pregnant to get you ready of a life time of not sleeping. These days I now wish I listened to my mother when she said to go to bed (but I will never tell her that she was right)

Here's hoping that someday I will get a full nights sleep and be able to go to bed early!

Stubborn

Stubborn people are all around us and it's worse when they are part of your family. Our of all the traits that a person can have that is one that I really don't like. Perhaps it's my stubbornness that causes me to not like this in other people but when their stubborn streak is apparent and they take it out on me then I am not pleased.

On March 10 my husband had a really bad accident at work (which we will never see any repercussions with the builder) and broke his heel bone and dislocated his finger. It could have been much worse, but that is not the point and my anger with this particular builder is for another time. Anyway, months later, a surgery, crutches, a cane, lots of physiotherapy (I think my husband see more of his therapist than me) this weekend we decided that we need to investigate the wooden stairs on our porch. My husband has not liked going up and down these stairs since the accident (for good reason) and this weekend it became very apparent how serious this type of accident really is!

After removing the staircase, we discovered that there were a total of 4 screws holding the stairs up on a very rotten board.

This was a ticking time bomb for anyone who walked on the stairs...

Now to the stubborn part. I give my husband credit in that he is determined to get this fixed as quickly as possible, but he also needs to realize that he cannot push himself. Last night after working on the deck all afternoon his foot began to hurt and we tried to think of why (perhaps that the physio therapist said to try not to use the pressure bandage, or that he was working on uneven ground for 4 hours, or both). This morning when he woke up his foot was still really sore and instead of icing an taking it easy, he pushed through and started working on the porch. He just stopped working as he is in so much pain that he can barely stand. This is where the stubborn comes in....he is in pain,  I am just trying to help and he yells as me. We were told as soon as the Dr. gave the ok to walk on the foot again that pain is not gain in this type of injury and if you are in pain to stop. So instead of taking a day to recover, my husband works with this pain and probably can't go to work tomorrow, and will be off his foot for a few days.

The kicker of all this is (now it's my pitty party) we are supposed to go on a holiday without the kids this weekend and go cave exploring, and a wedding and spending time on the beach. He will probably be sitting in the hotel icing his foot on pain killers. I am really glad that he is up and walking again, but I wish that he would take it easy for just a little longer...heel breaks can take from 6 months to a year to heal and it's only been 3 months!

Readings

Years ago, before I got married I went to a tea house with a group of girlfriends for tea and a reading. You had your choice of palm reading, tea leaves or tarot cards. I was very doubtful that this would be anything but a show, but I went into my reading with an open mind. 

I chose the palm reading and as the lady started the recorder so that I can take the reading home with my I had decided that I was not going to elaborate on any answers and help her along in the reading, just to see how right she really is. I would call myself (back then) a huge skeptic! There were a few pieces of information that I was intrigued about...but nothing really stood out until a few years later. Here were the highlights that I remember (I want to go through my things and find the tape to re listen)

I was told that I would have a long life...I am sure most people are told this but there is long life in my family (my grandmother died at 93 years old)

I was told that I would get married before I turned 30....strange number but looking back now, I got married the month before I turned 30

When it came time for the children line on my palm the medium laughed and I remember asking what was so funny...I was told I would have 3 children and one would be a set of twins. At the time I thought she was nuts and never thought anything of that statement again until I was 7 months pregnant with twins. I had a realization (about 5 years after this reading) that she was right!

When Long Island Medium made her debut on Canadian Television (TLC) my mom was talking about how it would be really neat to have a reading done by Theresa Caputo. My sister and I thought about taking her to New York and getting this done...we never did as the cost was really expensive, but the thought of going to a medium never left my mind.

About a month ago I found out that a co-worker of mine is a medium and she has been for years. I contacted her and set up a reading for myself, mom and sister. I think I was looking for something, but was more curious again if this really could happen. Last night we met with Donna from Third Eye Mystics and what is typically an hour reading turned into almost 3!

I have to admit I had mixed emotions...
Nervous that nothing would happen
Excitement that I may actually connect with a loved who had passed
Wonder if this really does work
Need...I wasn't sure what but I felt that I needed this as much as my mom wanted to connect

Donna was fantastic, before we really settled into our seats she was talking about a very strong woman who wanted to make herself known to us (my grandmother). We had very positive messages and quite a few validations and statements said that there was in no way that Donna would have know about my family. Yes I did work with Donna, but we never really sat down to talk about my life before this day. I had two questions for my dad in my mind that if he did come I wanted answered and he did with a determination that Donna couldn't ignore to pass along.

I have always felt that my dad is with me everyday, even though I don't always think of him, but I needed the reassurance that he is there, and some of the things that came across confirmed his everyday presence.

It was a fantastic experience and if ever I need the reassurance again I think I would go to another reading. I know that he is looking out for me and my family and even though he is not here, he is still guiding me along in my life only like a father could.