Weight Loss...What is that???

Everybody has some sort of insecurities be it weight, nose, how they laugh...who knows? Only that person knows what it is and you can't always tell what people are really struggling with on the inside.

For me it's my weight and the look of my body. When I got pregnant with my daughter I weighed myself everyday and when I saw that scale start to rise, I found it difficult to accept and had to keep repeating to myself that gaining weight is a good thing during pregnancy. I did really watch what I ate, which wasn't very hard as I really had not much of an appetite for the duration of the pregnancy. I ate because I had to not because I wanted to. That could be the reason I gained 38 lbs....which I thought was a lot but all the books and my Dr said that was right on target.

When I became pregnant with the boys my Dr. Wasn't concerned with my weight as I was carrying twins and the rules for eating and gaining weight are different. I knew I was overweight with them from the start as I was at the weight when I was about to deliver my daughter when I got pregnant with the boys. As with my previous pregnancy I really wasn't hungry and ate when I had to (which was much more frequently - I felt like I was stuffing my face). I would have the odd day where all I wanted to do was eat but they were not very frequent. Again, with this pregnancy I on;y gained 40 pounds and when the boys were born I was relieved that they were healthy and more so that that 40 pounds was literally baby and all the contents of the pregnancy.

1 month later I was thrilled (much to my sister's dismay) that I had lost all that twin baby weight plus an additional 10 pounds. For the first time in a long time I actually felt good about myself and I had to get my bridesmaid dress taken in! I would shrug my shoulders and the thing would fall off.

Fast forward 2 years and I am back to a miserable weight and feeling very discouraged! As I stated in my December blog, I look at myself in the mirror and all I see is a blob of a person. My friends are really the only ones who tell me that I look good (family really doesn't count). But to be honest...as many times as I hear it, I really don't see it. That is why back in December I decided to start a program.

My usual track record with any weight loss attempt is 3 days and I am actually proud to say I did 2 weeks before the business of Christmas took over and I didn't work out for 2 days and then 3...needless to say I fell off the wagon again.

Looking back...who really starts a weight loss program 2 weeks before Christmas??? On the plus side, I was sleeping better, I did lose about 4 pounds, and my pants were fitting better. I think that is what kept me going for those 2 weeks, I was actually seeing results! After Christmas I got sick with a sinus cold and then strep throat. I was out for the count for the month of January.

So here we go again! I am on day 1 of this 60 day program and so far so good. I have a menu for the week that is actually easy to follow, I have set some time aside to work out and I am more determined than ever. I am doing this for 2 weddings that I am going to this year but most of all I am doing this for myself. As a mother of 3 kids it is human nature to put other's (especially your kids) needs above your own and all too often you let yourself go... I find that I don't put any effort in what I look like because I don't see the point. I will either get covered in food or haven't had a shower that day or I am just too tired to put anything other than sweat pants on. Before I had kids I didn't own a pair of sweat pants, now I have about 4!

So, here is to another try at my weight loss program!

Weight Loss Journey...

For anyone who knows me I have always been a relatively active person. I was a dancer for over 10 years, I was a cheerleader in high school and I have been know to have participated in the occasional "fun run" of 5 km.

Since having my kids however, I have put on a total of 50 lbs since my wedding day and when we were weighing the kids the other day out of curiosity, my husband stood on the scale and I then realized that I am exactly 100 lbs heavier than him! Now I know that the number on the scale is not always the important thing, but society has other plans for women.

I looked in the mirror that night and really looked at myself...you know that kind of scrutiny that you can only give yourself and I thought, "who is this person"? I mean, my bottom is way larger and sticks out much more than it used to, I have the mummy tummy (yes I have 3 kids and I know where it came from but I still don't like it) - I am thankful that I didn't get "twin skin" (that extra flap of skin that just won't go away), my breasts have gone up 3 sizes (I used to be a 38C) and they sag. I just don't like the way I have looked and I have decided that I need to take matters into my own hands and do something about this. The weight won't just disappear as much as I would love it to, so hard work is going to be in my future.

First step is get a workout video that I can do at home as I can't readily get out to a gym and I really don't want to pay the fees. The boys still nap in the afternoon, so I have dedicated that time as "me time" and will work out then. Last week I got a great deal on the Pretty Fierce Weight Loss workout series by Lindsay Brin and have printed the 60 day schedule for my workouts. I sat down this morning and planned my meals for the week.

So here goes for my weight loss journey...this is a 60 day program and I am going to do my best to stick with this and work hard for me.


Weight: 250 lbs
Chest: 46.75 in
Waist: 44 in
Hips: 53 in

Another Year

Here we are nearing December and the end of yet another year. I must admit that I never really thought much about the passing years as I was growing up, I was always going somewhere or doing something whether it was piano lessons, dancing or going to camp in the summer. One month I always looked forward to was December...this year is no different.

The kids are a bit older (5 and 2) and they are really getting into the whole Christmas thing. December 1 we always pull out the decorations and get everything ready for the holidays...this year is no exception! We actually put them up for the first time on November 23rd!  I don't really know why I am feeling like a little kid again and really can't wait to see my kids faces as they come downstairs in the morning to see that Santa has eaten the cookies and milk and left them a really special gift. 

This takes us to the traditions that families create. For example...when I was growing up on Christmas morning my sister and I would wake up to find our stockings left right next to our beds. We thought that was so cool and would immediately open them up to see the first glimpse of presents from Santa. What we didn't know then, that I now know as a parent of very excited kids is that my parents left our stocking to get just a bit more sleep on Christmas morning. We were always told that we could not go downstairs until mum and dad said it was ok and we were not to come to mum and dad until 7:00 am. Try telling that to a kid that wants nothing more than to rip open as many gifts as possible. Hence the stocking by the bed. This year my kids are still to little to start that tradition, so I suspect that we will be one of those houses you see with the lights on and all the gifts opened by 7:00am! 

The other tradition that we have started as a family is "the elf on the shelf". Many people already do this and we are now no exception. It's not easy as parents to come up with creative ways to position this elf, especially when we have 2 little boys that don't understand yet that you cannot touch said elf. So we are trying to get creative with the elf out of reach and up high. There are only so many things you can do with an elf hanging from a light or looking out from a cabinet. I am sure that as the kids get older and they understand that they cannot touch "Red" then we can get into the really fun stuff, but for now she will just look on from the shelf and wait until her day comes when she can have a "bath" in marshmallows :)

Embarrassment

There are firsts for everything in life...

First time a baby hold their head
First time you sit up
First time you walk
First time you go to school
First time you drive a car
First time you get kissed
First time you go on a date
First time you have sex

Most people remember those firsts (well not the baby ones...), my point is that most people block out of their memory the embarrassing firsts...

First time you wet the bed
First time you get a traffic ticket (I actually remember my first speeding ticket as it was only 2 years ago)
First time you wet your pants
First time you have a "leakage" from your period

Most of the time you can usually just creep off in an internal shame hoping that no one saw and that you can get away from the public humiliation...

I just experienced my first public shame and actually had to admit to it! This morning as the kids were putting on their boots for school we had the TV on to disney jr so that I don't have to chase anyone around while we are trying to get ready. After we dropped off my daughter at school we came home and so that I can get some breakfast finally I turned on my TV. To my surprise it wasn't working and neither was the internet. So in order to find the cable company's phone number (as everything is online these days) I had to turn to the very outdated (2 years) phone book. After locating the number I called and was informed that my account was deactivated due to missed payment.

Now I have never missed a payment in my life but since I have had the boys my brain has gone to pot and I have been late for many but never missed altogether! To my extreme embarrassment I had to admit to my mistake and have the company charge my credit card to reactivate my account. Now I am just waiting for my cable to come back on and thankfully for DVD players my kids have something to watch. Needless to say that I have also just set up a reminder (why I didn't do this years ago) to pay my bills as soon as they come in and not wait until the due date!

Kids and adult brains do not mix!

Into the Swing of Things

Well, we have survived the first week of Kindergarten! I really had my doubts as to whether I would be able to keep my sanity with 3 little kids getting ready in the morning and making it out of the door in time for school (after-all, many working families do it why can't I? Right??)

My worries about Gillian making friends was a very silly one, as this is the kid who will go up to total strangers in the grocery store and ask "will you be my friend?" She is very open and loves to talk...Immediately on the first day of Kindergarten, she buddies up to a lovely set of girls (twins). I am not surprised that they are her first friends at school as she has been living with a set for 2 years and know what they are about.

So we survived a week...I started off really well, getting up when my husband goes to work and actually eating breakfast in peace and quiet. As the week continued however, I have not been so eager...this morning it was 7:30 when I finally rolled out of bed and now I had exactly 30 minutes to get everyone out of the house! Easy right??? Wrong!!!

Gillian decided that today was the day that she wanted to play around and get ready in the closet (why this place to change from PJ's to clothes I have no idea). so here I am trying to get dressed myself...underwear on, bra on, pants on, "Thud"...

Victor has decided to climb out of his crib and slipped thereby causing the Thud and falling to the floor. I cuddle him and figured I am half dressed so why not get him completely dressed now that he is out of his crib...Gillian at this point is still fooling around and only had underwear on...

I leave the room with a fully clothed Victor hoping to get the rest of my clothes when David starts wailing...(now what?)...he can't find his soother and he is all alone in the room. I get him dressed and while doing that Gillian decides that she doesn't want to wear the clothes that I pulled out for her and starts picking new pants.

It's now 7:50 and we still haven't had breakfast and we need to get going. So waffles on the go it is...we eat in the car as we actually didn't leave the house after getting everything and everyone ready until 8:15am. The first bell is 8:19 (thank goodness we live less than 2 min by car). We got to the door and made it just in time. After a sigh of relief I pack the boys back into the car and head home. Pick-up was much easier...

So we will see how this next week is going to be...

A Whole New World

I am the first one to admit that I have been really lacking on my attempt at a witty blog about my everyday life raising twin boys and a lovely daughter.

That being said I am feeling more inspired to write whether it is a blog about how crazy my life raising 3 kids has been or just a rant about myself in general, I find myself sitting here in a bit of a haze.

When my daughter was born she was a very easy baby, laid back and always wondering what was going on in the world. She was not the best sleeper until she was 18 months and even now at almost 5 years old she has the odd night where she can't fall asleep, or has a nightmare (but who hasn't these days). She never attempted to climb out of the crib or got into trouble of that mischievous sort you hear about when kids are 2-3 years old. My boys on the other hand...

Since they were born they were a handful (but as I was immediately outnumbered 2-1 in the baby to adult ratio - it's understandable). They just turned 2 and about 3 weeks before their birthday I knew we were in trouble! My oldest twin figured out how to remove his diaper - now this was funny at first but all I could think about when it was happening night after night was I really hoping that the contents of the diaper would not end up in his brother's crib! (Thankfully it only stayed in the confines of his own barred domain).

Now for the "terrible two's" I actually wouldn't say they were terrible, but 3 days after their 2nd birthday, both my boys decided it was time to explore their bedroom at night and proceeded to climb into each other's crib as well as escape by climbing out of their cribs onto the floor. My husband and I are now on nightly watches from bedtime until they are on the verge of falling asleep. We have mastered the art of giving the look of "you better lay your little butt down or else" so that the time we are up there is diminishing (perhaps we will have our evenings to ourselves sometime again). We debated whether to switch from a crib to a bed but I am really not ready for that stage in sleepless nights so therefore the boys are not ready : )

The other part of the title of this post is that my first born in entering into Kindergarten. Tomorrow is the first day of school and I don't know who is more nervous me or her. She was at playschool last year so I know she can handle being away from "mommy" during the day...I just have all the same fears that every parent holds the first time your child starts something new. Will she make friends? Will she do well at what she is being taught? Is this the right school for her? Can I get her to school on time with toddlers in tow?

I lay here awake with my husband sleeping soundly typing this and waiting for myself to feel sleepy...Now I have to be able to actually function every morning...I haven't done that in 2 years since I was at work... We are now embarking on a "Whole New World"

Valentines

Valentines is a holiday that honestly I can take it or leave it. 
Is is nice to get flowers???of course, but do I need a specific day for my husband to show me he cares with over-priced flowers? no. A month ago he came home the day after a horrible day I had with the kids with a nice bouquet of flowers in hand. I felt appreciated and it made me feel like I really am not that bad of a mom/wife or person in general. That being said it is a nice reminder for everyone to let people know how one feels.

At playschool, my daughter was having a valentines PJ party and exchanging cards. It was such a crazy week last week (with my grandma and mom flying out to Toronto) that I completely forgot to get the little cards that the kids can exchange, and I sent my daughter to her very first class valentines party empty-handed... I felt like a tool and promised myself that next year I will do better. Well my Mother-in-Law came to the rescue and picked up a package of cards and dropped it off at preschool. What a life saver!

I think that when I go shopping next I will pick up a package of the valentines cards to save for next year. Knowing me I will probably put them somewhere and forget where I put them and be in the same boat next year with no cards in hand for distribution. Someday I will have a brain that remembers things right???