Stubborn

Stubborn people are all around us and it's worse when they are part of your family. Our of all the traits that a person can have that is one that I really don't like. Perhaps it's my stubbornness that causes me to not like this in other people but when their stubborn streak is apparent and they take it out on me then I am not pleased.

On March 10 my husband had a really bad accident at work (which we will never see any repercussions with the builder) and broke his heel bone and dislocated his finger. It could have been much worse, but that is not the point and my anger with this particular builder is for another time. Anyway, months later, a surgery, crutches, a cane, lots of physiotherapy (I think my husband see more of his therapist than me) this weekend we decided that we need to investigate the wooden stairs on our porch. My husband has not liked going up and down these stairs since the accident (for good reason) and this weekend it became very apparent how serious this type of accident really is!

After removing the staircase, we discovered that there were a total of 4 screws holding the stairs up on a very rotten board.

This was a ticking time bomb for anyone who walked on the stairs...

Now to the stubborn part. I give my husband credit in that he is determined to get this fixed as quickly as possible, but he also needs to realize that he cannot push himself. Last night after working on the deck all afternoon his foot began to hurt and we tried to think of why (perhaps that the physio therapist said to try not to use the pressure bandage, or that he was working on uneven ground for 4 hours, or both). This morning when he woke up his foot was still really sore and instead of icing an taking it easy, he pushed through and started working on the porch. He just stopped working as he is in so much pain that he can barely stand. This is where the stubborn comes in....he is in pain,  I am just trying to help and he yells as me. We were told as soon as the Dr. gave the ok to walk on the foot again that pain is not gain in this type of injury and if you are in pain to stop. So instead of taking a day to recover, my husband works with this pain and probably can't go to work tomorrow, and will be off his foot for a few days.

The kicker of all this is (now it's my pitty party) we are supposed to go on a holiday without the kids this weekend and go cave exploring, and a wedding and spending time on the beach. He will probably be sitting in the hotel icing his foot on pain killers. I am really glad that he is up and walking again, but I wish that he would take it easy for just a little longer...heel breaks can take from 6 months to a year to heal and it's only been 3 months!

Readings

Years ago, before I got married I went to a tea house with a group of girlfriends for tea and a reading. You had your choice of palm reading, tea leaves or tarot cards. I was very doubtful that this would be anything but a show, but I went into my reading with an open mind. 

I chose the palm reading and as the lady started the recorder so that I can take the reading home with my I had decided that I was not going to elaborate on any answers and help her along in the reading, just to see how right she really is. I would call myself (back then) a huge skeptic! There were a few pieces of information that I was intrigued about...but nothing really stood out until a few years later. Here were the highlights that I remember (I want to go through my things and find the tape to re listen)

I was told that I would have a long life...I am sure most people are told this but there is long life in my family (my grandmother died at 93 years old)

I was told that I would get married before I turned 30....strange number but looking back now, I got married the month before I turned 30

When it came time for the children line on my palm the medium laughed and I remember asking what was so funny...I was told I would have 3 children and one would be a set of twins. At the time I thought she was nuts and never thought anything of that statement again until I was 7 months pregnant with twins. I had a realization (about 5 years after this reading) that she was right!

When Long Island Medium made her debut on Canadian Television (TLC) my mom was talking about how it would be really neat to have a reading done by Theresa Caputo. My sister and I thought about taking her to New York and getting this done...we never did as the cost was really expensive, but the thought of going to a medium never left my mind.

About a month ago I found out that a co-worker of mine is a medium and she has been for years. I contacted her and set up a reading for myself, mom and sister. I think I was looking for something, but was more curious again if this really could happen. Last night we met with Donna from Third Eye Mystics and what is typically an hour reading turned into almost 3!

I have to admit I had mixed emotions...
Nervous that nothing would happen
Excitement that I may actually connect with a loved who had passed
Wonder if this really does work
Need...I wasn't sure what but I felt that I needed this as much as my mom wanted to connect

Donna was fantastic, before we really settled into our seats she was talking about a very strong woman who wanted to make herself known to us (my grandmother). We had very positive messages and quite a few validations and statements said that there was in no way that Donna would have know about my family. Yes I did work with Donna, but we never really sat down to talk about my life before this day. I had two questions for my dad in my mind that if he did come I wanted answered and he did with a determination that Donna couldn't ignore to pass along.

I have always felt that my dad is with me everyday, even though I don't always think of him, but I needed the reassurance that he is there, and some of the things that came across confirmed his everyday presence.

It was a fantastic experience and if ever I need the reassurance again I think I would go to another reading. I know that he is looking out for me and my family and even though he is not here, he is still guiding me along in my life only like a father could. 

Lesson Learned

It's funny that after 3 kids I think that I have this being a mother thing down and then something happens...

Everyone gets into some sort of routine...if you think about it. 
You wake up (usually at the same time everyday)
You eat Breakfast
You go to work
You eat Lunch
You go to back to work
You eat Dinner
You wind down after the day
You go to bed
You repeat.

My Husband and I were in for a wake up call about how comfortable we were with our routines. On Sunday I was on the phone with poison control because as we were going to bed, I checked in on the boys and discovered that David had managed to get a hold of a bottle of children's Tylenol and drank a good portion. Other than the day they were born I have never been so scared and worried about my kids in all my life!

How could this happen? We were so careful, putting the bottle on the boys dresser that is quite high. They have never attempted to climb the dresser...but this time David climbed onto the rocking chair and used the arm as his lift to reach for the bottle. I am trying to wrap my brain around this, and my theory is:

The boys have been sick all week and we have been giving them Tylenol to help with sore throats and sleep. Sunday night I thought that they were much better and didn't need it. David however had a different idea. He probably thought that we missed giving it and took it upon himself to get his dose. We have absolutely no idea how much he actually got because the bottle was not new and I don't know how much was left.

Calling poison control the lady on the other line was very nice but I could tell that she was trying to be professional. After weighing David we figured (doing calculations on her end) that he would have had to have 3/4 of the bottle to be toxic. If that was the case I would have to go to the hospital and get the antidote, because Tylenol causes liver damage.

Because I was doubting how much he could have ingested I was up all night making sure that he was still breathing and not turning yellow from liver failure...so the lesson has been learned and I hope this blog can help someone else so they don't have to go through the worry and terror of a child overdosing on something so simple as Tylenol. It can happen so fast!

The first thing I have done the next day was put all medicine in our medicine cabinet that the only way a child can get to is by closing our bathroom door and climbing on a chair...which they would have to get from downstairs.

Weight Loss...What is that???

Everybody has some sort of insecurities be it weight, nose, how they laugh...who knows? Only that person knows what it is and you can't always tell what people are really struggling with on the inside.

For me it's my weight and the look of my body. When I got pregnant with my daughter I weighed myself everyday and when I saw that scale start to rise, I found it difficult to accept and had to keep repeating to myself that gaining weight is a good thing during pregnancy. I did really watch what I ate, which wasn't very hard as I really had not much of an appetite for the duration of the pregnancy. I ate because I had to not because I wanted to. That could be the reason I gained 38 lbs....which I thought was a lot but all the books and my Dr said that was right on target.

When I became pregnant with the boys my Dr. Wasn't concerned with my weight as I was carrying twins and the rules for eating and gaining weight are different. I knew I was overweight with them from the start as I was at the weight when I was about to deliver my daughter when I got pregnant with the boys. As with my previous pregnancy I really wasn't hungry and ate when I had to (which was much more frequently - I felt like I was stuffing my face). I would have the odd day where all I wanted to do was eat but they were not very frequent. Again, with this pregnancy I on;y gained 40 pounds and when the boys were born I was relieved that they were healthy and more so that that 40 pounds was literally baby and all the contents of the pregnancy.

1 month later I was thrilled (much to my sister's dismay) that I had lost all that twin baby weight plus an additional 10 pounds. For the first time in a long time I actually felt good about myself and I had to get my bridesmaid dress taken in! I would shrug my shoulders and the thing would fall off.

Fast forward 2 years and I am back to a miserable weight and feeling very discouraged! As I stated in my December blog, I look at myself in the mirror and all I see is a blob of a person. My friends are really the only ones who tell me that I look good (family really doesn't count). But to be honest...as many times as I hear it, I really don't see it. That is why back in December I decided to start a program.

My usual track record with any weight loss attempt is 3 days and I am actually proud to say I did 2 weeks before the business of Christmas took over and I didn't work out for 2 days and then 3...needless to say I fell off the wagon again.

Looking back...who really starts a weight loss program 2 weeks before Christmas??? On the plus side, I was sleeping better, I did lose about 4 pounds, and my pants were fitting better. I think that is what kept me going for those 2 weeks, I was actually seeing results! After Christmas I got sick with a sinus cold and then strep throat. I was out for the count for the month of January.

So here we go again! I am on day 1 of this 60 day program and so far so good. I have a menu for the week that is actually easy to follow, I have set some time aside to work out and I am more determined than ever. I am doing this for 2 weddings that I am going to this year but most of all I am doing this for myself. As a mother of 3 kids it is human nature to put other's (especially your kids) needs above your own and all too often you let yourself go... I find that I don't put any effort in what I look like because I don't see the point. I will either get covered in food or haven't had a shower that day or I am just too tired to put anything other than sweat pants on. Before I had kids I didn't own a pair of sweat pants, now I have about 4!

So, here is to another try at my weight loss program!

Weight Loss Journey...

For anyone who knows me I have always been a relatively active person. I was a dancer for over 10 years, I was a cheerleader in high school and I have been know to have participated in the occasional "fun run" of 5 km.

Since having my kids however, I have put on a total of 50 lbs since my wedding day and when we were weighing the kids the other day out of curiosity, my husband stood on the scale and I then realized that I am exactly 100 lbs heavier than him! Now I know that the number on the scale is not always the important thing, but society has other plans for women.

I looked in the mirror that night and really looked at myself...you know that kind of scrutiny that you can only give yourself and I thought, "who is this person"? I mean, my bottom is way larger and sticks out much more than it used to, I have the mummy tummy (yes I have 3 kids and I know where it came from but I still don't like it) - I am thankful that I didn't get "twin skin" (that extra flap of skin that just won't go away), my breasts have gone up 3 sizes (I used to be a 38C) and they sag. I just don't like the way I have looked and I have decided that I need to take matters into my own hands and do something about this. The weight won't just disappear as much as I would love it to, so hard work is going to be in my future.

First step is get a workout video that I can do at home as I can't readily get out to a gym and I really don't want to pay the fees. The boys still nap in the afternoon, so I have dedicated that time as "me time" and will work out then. Last week I got a great deal on the Pretty Fierce Weight Loss workout series by Lindsay Brin and have printed the 60 day schedule for my workouts. I sat down this morning and planned my meals for the week.

So here goes for my weight loss journey...this is a 60 day program and I am going to do my best to stick with this and work hard for me.


Weight: 250 lbs
Chest: 46.75 in
Waist: 44 in
Hips: 53 in

Another Year

Here we are nearing December and the end of yet another year. I must admit that I never really thought much about the passing years as I was growing up, I was always going somewhere or doing something whether it was piano lessons, dancing or going to camp in the summer. One month I always looked forward to was December...this year is no different.

The kids are a bit older (5 and 2) and they are really getting into the whole Christmas thing. December 1 we always pull out the decorations and get everything ready for the holidays...this year is no exception! We actually put them up for the first time on November 23rd!  I don't really know why I am feeling like a little kid again and really can't wait to see my kids faces as they come downstairs in the morning to see that Santa has eaten the cookies and milk and left them a really special gift. 

This takes us to the traditions that families create. For example...when I was growing up on Christmas morning my sister and I would wake up to find our stockings left right next to our beds. We thought that was so cool and would immediately open them up to see the first glimpse of presents from Santa. What we didn't know then, that I now know as a parent of very excited kids is that my parents left our stocking to get just a bit more sleep on Christmas morning. We were always told that we could not go downstairs until mum and dad said it was ok and we were not to come to mum and dad until 7:00 am. Try telling that to a kid that wants nothing more than to rip open as many gifts as possible. Hence the stocking by the bed. This year my kids are still to little to start that tradition, so I suspect that we will be one of those houses you see with the lights on and all the gifts opened by 7:00am! 

The other tradition that we have started as a family is "the elf on the shelf". Many people already do this and we are now no exception. It's not easy as parents to come up with creative ways to position this elf, especially when we have 2 little boys that don't understand yet that you cannot touch said elf. So we are trying to get creative with the elf out of reach and up high. There are only so many things you can do with an elf hanging from a light or looking out from a cabinet. I am sure that as the kids get older and they understand that they cannot touch "Red" then we can get into the really fun stuff, but for now she will just look on from the shelf and wait until her day comes when she can have a "bath" in marshmallows :)

Embarrassment

There are firsts for everything in life...

First time a baby hold their head
First time you sit up
First time you walk
First time you go to school
First time you drive a car
First time you get kissed
First time you go on a date
First time you have sex

Most people remember those firsts (well not the baby ones...), my point is that most people block out of their memory the embarrassing firsts...

First time you wet the bed
First time you get a traffic ticket (I actually remember my first speeding ticket as it was only 2 years ago)
First time you wet your pants
First time you have a "leakage" from your period

Most of the time you can usually just creep off in an internal shame hoping that no one saw and that you can get away from the public humiliation...

I just experienced my first public shame and actually had to admit to it! This morning as the kids were putting on their boots for school we had the TV on to disney jr so that I don't have to chase anyone around while we are trying to get ready. After we dropped off my daughter at school we came home and so that I can get some breakfast finally I turned on my TV. To my surprise it wasn't working and neither was the internet. So in order to find the cable company's phone number (as everything is online these days) I had to turn to the very outdated (2 years) phone book. After locating the number I called and was informed that my account was deactivated due to missed payment.

Now I have never missed a payment in my life but since I have had the boys my brain has gone to pot and I have been late for many but never missed altogether! To my extreme embarrassment I had to admit to my mistake and have the company charge my credit card to reactivate my account. Now I am just waiting for my cable to come back on and thankfully for DVD players my kids have something to watch. Needless to say that I have also just set up a reminder (why I didn't do this years ago) to pay my bills as soon as they come in and not wait until the due date!

Kids and adult brains do not mix!