Weight Loss...What is that???

Everybody has some sort of insecurities be it weight, nose, how they laugh...who knows? Only that person knows what it is and you can't always tell what people are really struggling with on the inside.

For me it's my weight and the look of my body. When I got pregnant with my daughter I weighed myself everyday and when I saw that scale start to rise, I found it difficult to accept and had to keep repeating to myself that gaining weight is a good thing during pregnancy. I did really watch what I ate, which wasn't very hard as I really had not much of an appetite for the duration of the pregnancy. I ate because I had to not because I wanted to. That could be the reason I gained 38 lbs....which I thought was a lot but all the books and my Dr said that was right on target.

When I became pregnant with the boys my Dr. Wasn't concerned with my weight as I was carrying twins and the rules for eating and gaining weight are different. I knew I was overweight with them from the start as I was at the weight when I was about to deliver my daughter when I got pregnant with the boys. As with my previous pregnancy I really wasn't hungry and ate when I had to (which was much more frequently - I felt like I was stuffing my face). I would have the odd day where all I wanted to do was eat but they were not very frequent. Again, with this pregnancy I on;y gained 40 pounds and when the boys were born I was relieved that they were healthy and more so that that 40 pounds was literally baby and all the contents of the pregnancy.

1 month later I was thrilled (much to my sister's dismay) that I had lost all that twin baby weight plus an additional 10 pounds. For the first time in a long time I actually felt good about myself and I had to get my bridesmaid dress taken in! I would shrug my shoulders and the thing would fall off.

Fast forward 2 years and I am back to a miserable weight and feeling very discouraged! As I stated in my December blog, I look at myself in the mirror and all I see is a blob of a person. My friends are really the only ones who tell me that I look good (family really doesn't count). But to be honest...as many times as I hear it, I really don't see it. That is why back in December I decided to start a program.

My usual track record with any weight loss attempt is 3 days and I am actually proud to say I did 2 weeks before the business of Christmas took over and I didn't work out for 2 days and then 3...needless to say I fell off the wagon again.

Looking back...who really starts a weight loss program 2 weeks before Christmas??? On the plus side, I was sleeping better, I did lose about 4 pounds, and my pants were fitting better. I think that is what kept me going for those 2 weeks, I was actually seeing results! After Christmas I got sick with a sinus cold and then strep throat. I was out for the count for the month of January.

So here we go again! I am on day 1 of this 60 day program and so far so good. I have a menu for the week that is actually easy to follow, I have set some time aside to work out and I am more determined than ever. I am doing this for 2 weddings that I am going to this year but most of all I am doing this for myself. As a mother of 3 kids it is human nature to put other's (especially your kids) needs above your own and all too often you let yourself go... I find that I don't put any effort in what I look like because I don't see the point. I will either get covered in food or haven't had a shower that day or I am just too tired to put anything other than sweat pants on. Before I had kids I didn't own a pair of sweat pants, now I have about 4!

So, here is to another try at my weight loss program!