For me it's my weight and the look of my body. When I got pregnant with my daughter I weighed myself everyday and when I saw that scale start to rise, I found it difficult to accept and had to keep repeating to myself that gaining weight is a good thing during pregnancy. I did really watch what I ate, which wasn't very hard as I really had not much of an appetite for the duration of the pregnancy. I ate because I had to not because I wanted to. That could be the reason I gained 38 lbs....which I thought was a lot but all the books and my Dr said that was right on target.
When I became pregnant with the boys my Dr. Wasn't concerned with my weight as I was carrying twins and the rules for eating and gaining weight are different. I knew I was overweight with them from the start as I was at the weight when I was about to deliver my daughter when I got pregnant with the boys. As with my previous pregnancy I really wasn't hungry and ate when I had to (which was much more frequently - I felt like I was stuffing my face). I would have the odd day where all I wanted to do was eat but they were not very frequent. Again, with this pregnancy I on;y gained 40 pounds and when the boys were born I was relieved that they were healthy and more so that that 40 pounds was literally baby and all the contents of the pregnancy.
1 month later I was thrilled (much to my sister's dismay) that I had lost all that twin baby weight plus an additional 10 pounds. For the first time in a long time I actually felt good about myself and I had to get my bridesmaid dress taken in! I would shrug my shoulders and the thing would fall off.
Fast forward 2 years and I am back to a miserable weight and feeling very discouraged! As I stated in my December blog, I look at myself in the mirror and all I see is a blob of a person. My friends are really the only ones who tell me that I look good (family really doesn't count). But to be honest...as many times as I hear it, I really don't see it. That is why back in December I decided to start a program.
My usual track record with any weight loss attempt is 3 days and I am actually proud to say I did 2 weeks before the business of Christmas took over and I didn't work out for 2 days and then 3...needless to say I fell off the wagon again.
Looking back...who really starts a weight loss program 2 weeks before Christmas??? On the plus side, I was sleeping better, I did lose about 4 pounds, and my pants were fitting better. I think that is what kept me going for those 2 weeks, I was actually seeing results! After Christmas I got sick with a sinus cold and then strep throat. I was out for the count for the month of January.
So here we go again! I am on day 1 of this 60 day program and so far so good. I have a menu for the week that is actually easy to follow, I have set some time aside to work out and I am more determined than ever. I am doing this for 2 weddings that I am going to this year but most of all I am doing this for myself. As a mother of 3 kids it is human nature to put other's (especially your kids) needs above your own and all too often you let yourself go... I find that I don't put any effort in what I look like because I don't see the point. I will either get covered in food or haven't had a shower that day or I am just too tired to put anything other than sweat pants on. Before I had kids I didn't own a pair of sweat pants, now I have about 4!
So, here is to another try at my weight loss program!